I grew up in an extremely toxic family full of narcissist. To the point I don't even know what's normal or not. Years of physical, mental and emotional abuse, I really thought I was never good enough. To the point I believe that near end of my life I'll be alone. The only thing I prayed for is to have a happy family. Hoping for them to change. But it never came. One day, I met her. And everything change. Being with her, seeing her smile, her laughter..she is the light while I was in deep darkness. I fell for her, and she felt the same. I worked on myself for her. I told myself its not fair for her to deal with my traumas from my family. I decided to cut off my family members too. Later on, I married her. In the early days of our marriage, I stayed with her family for a few months before our new house is ready. And I....I had a culture shock... Whatever small things I did, my in-laws said thank you to me. They randomly buy food for everyone. When I made small mistake, there's no argument. Just instant fix. Before I leave for work, they told me to take care. When I reached home, I was greeted with a huge smile from them. We eat together...on the same table. They talk and compliment each other daily. They..cooked for me from time to time. They celebrated my birthday, saying they're happy I'm here. I received gifts from them. We watch movies, TV series..together. We play games together. We play board games too...together. We get to know each other's interest a lot.. All of these is the total opposite in my family...I never knew this is what happy family feels like. I can't help but cry one day. Thinking...my prayers were answered in a different way. I don't even know if I really deserves it. But...I am eternally grateful for my new family. Years passed. Now, my wife and kids greeted me at our new home. I make time to play with my kids and get to know their life in school. I help out my wife with house chores. We play games together. I make sure to compliment my kids when they do good and make them learn in a healthy way if they made a mistake. Visitation with my parent-in-laws every other weekend...all of this...its just, I never would've thought, I came from a hellish abusive family, and now...home is my sanctuary. My utopia. They are my motivation to do better. I am forever grateful. Praise be to God :)

I M24, got a new job. Just started like few months ago. My colleague, F25, from another department, is...an odd person I would say? She's been hanging around me a lot for some reason. Here's some situations: S1: She asked about my interest, and out of all interest, I mentioned Star Wars. Even told her I have like collection of lightsabers that's expensive. She said "ooh, I'd love to play with your lightsaber". I told her can see it but let's not play with it. She then say "I mean, I'll eat your lightsaber if that's what you like". I'm like...no. Its very expensive and plus its not...food. Also if its a real thing, why would anyone thinks about eating it? She then laughs saying "You're so funny!" but...I'm being for real though. S2: Company held a mini sports event. We played badminton and she wants to play with me as a team (2 v 2) and as my opponent (1 v 1). She then asked me how did I get so good in badminton, I told her simply play a lot over the years. She said she's love to be better, so sure. But then, she then said "It'll be nice for you to smash me with your shuttlecock". I told her I won't purposefully be that aggressive. She then said "Oh but, I like it rough. So hit me with all you got". I then said...no...I mean, she's still a beginner in badminton, why would I wanna go rough on her? That'll just demotivate her. Plus, smashing in her direction can cause injuries too. Again, she laughs saying "You're so funny"....but I ain't joking..again. S3: She invited me to her house, saying she has a small house party, and invited others too. Her house is not too far, so why not. I reached on time, no one's around. She let me in, and inside, no party settings at all. So I sat down, asking where's the others, and she said "oh, no one's coming, I forgot to tell you its cancelled but, since you're here why not just spend time". I'm like....she could've told me this before? Oh well. She then asked if I wanna watch something with her and chill. I said sure, so I asked her what would she wanna watch, she said anything at all. So I saw this chilling crime documentary and just watch with her. Somewhere in the middle, she said "so scary with all these crimes. Luckily I have protection". I'm like, that's good, its better to be safe and prepared. She then asked "Well, I'm definitely am prepared with the protection. You may want to try it, in my room". I'm confused on what she meant by "try" but, I told her I have enough security and protection at home so I'm good. She laughs, again, saying I'm funny....but...what's...funny about that? She fell asleep soon, and I made my move to go home. I made sure everything's lock and safe. S4: This is the latest. She sent me her bikini photos asking if she looks good. I replied saying "I think you got the wrong person", and yup, she deleted it and apologies, saying its meant for her girl friends. But thing is...she kept..."accidentally" sending me those photos from time to time, and I always told her wrong person and she deleted it again and again. If anything....its not an accident anymore...is it? I think she needs help. Something is definitely not right with her at this point. Nothing she say or do makes sense to me. Or maybe I'm an idiot? Idk. If this goes on I might have to tell her to stop and get help.

Has anyone have success stories of down grading in job grade to trade-off for more time flexibility for family? Either switching to less competitive industries or downgrade to junior tier at half the salary for double the peace and flexibility. Looking for inspiration stories here

I am honestly exhausted. So many helpers overpromise, exaggerate their experience, and then can’t deliver on basic tasks. Say they can cook but can’t even manage a simple stir-fry, afraid of oil splattering. Claim baby or childcare experience, but struggle with the basics, sometimes not even having looked after their own children. It’s frustrating, and frankly, it feels misleading. The biodata can be polished to look impressive, interviews feel rehearsed, and half the time you don’t know what’s real and what’s not. Meanwhile, we employers are paying hefty costs, so where is the accountability from the agent or the helper? Agent always say they cannot guarantee the quality and the training of the helper. Helpers demand about their rights to use phone all day, access to WiFi, insisting on only working in a small households of 2-3 people, want their own room, want weekly off plus PH off days, cannot take it when corrected for something like forgetting to turn off the stove… it’s too much. And when things don’t go their way, some even threaten to go back to the agent or ask to be sent home. It is like there’s no responsibility to uphold their end of the contract at all. It is already stressful working full time, managing a household, being a caregiver, raising a child/children and then facing uncertainty with helpers who run away, threaten to go back agent or be sent home. This is a real concern, and not talked about enough. If you’ve gone through this, you’ll understand how draining it is.

I am an alumni of NTU writing this to express things off my chest, editors feel free to edit the text as necessary. I visited the NTU Open House and checked out the School of Biological Sciences booth as I need to ask some enquiries about one of their new programmes. I was next in the queue to speak to a student ambassador who happened to know me from other settings and appeared to have a personal vendetta against me for reasons known to her. When it was my turn to engage the student ambassador to ask my questions, she suddenly backed away without a word in an unprofessional manner, without even offering to direct me to another student ambassador. As a result, I had to take much trouble to queue behind another group and speak to another student ambassador which was much hassle, and the other student ambassador was also not fully equipped to address my enquiries and took much trouble to eventually direct me to a staff. This ambassador, Tay Jia Wen, is a well-regarded model student of the School of Biological Sciences, who was once featured by the school on their social media platforms for "[taking] the global stage at the IHEA 2025 World Congress in Bali" indicating a remarkable achievement in her research work in health economics which was worthy of boosting the school's image. This is in direct contrast to myself, who has had multiple records of misconduct and undesirable feedback from peers, staff, and faculty during my undergraduate candidature at the same school. I attempted to raise the feedback to Ms Hua Wen Hui, a staff of the school who manages the student ambassadors of outreach events including open houses, who initially promised that she would speak to the student and get back to me. As a precautionary measure knowing that the staff is unlikely to follow through with her promise given the past bad blood between myself and the school, I attempted to open the conversation over email directed to both the student and the staff on the same day. My email was then responded to by the Associate Chair (Students) of the school, Assoc Prof Tan Suet Mien, with no apology for the student unprofessional behaviour but instead excusing such behaviour from "student ambassadors [who] generously volunteer their time to support the school" and are therefore "fully entitled to step away", and dismissing my grievances claiming that "another ambassador was able to assist [me] promptly" even when it was clearly written in my initial email that "I had to take an extra hassle to look for another student ambassador who then took some time to eventually refer me to a staff". In response, I confronted Prof Tan Suet Mien's manner of handling my situation, expressing that although "student ambassadors are entitled to fully step away, but the least they can do is to politely tell me that they will get another ambassador to attend to me, which is what [the student] did not do", and that this is not how the school should "teach [their] students to conduct their frontline roles, regardless paid or not", especially when the student "is not just an ordinary student, she is an esteemed student role model whom [the school] has always been proud of featuring in all the social media channels". I expressed additionally my concern that "the school's preference is to justify all actions of such students instead of upholding them to high enough standards to correct them when they make a mistake". Prof Tan Suet Mien responded again to my email promptly, appearing to "understand [my] concerns and appreciate [me] bringing them up", and offered to "meet with [me] to discuss the issue", asking Ms Hua Wen Hui to help to arrange the meeting, which she did not respond for some time. After almost a week has passed, I attempted to send them another reminder that I am waiting for Ms Hua Wen Hui to follow up, at the same time reminding them about what I have been mentioning in my earlier email about speaking to the major news outlets to make this public as a last resort while I am giving them the chance to settle the matter with me appropriately. Instead of receiving a response from her or Prof Tan Suet Mien, I received an email from Acting Dean of the College of Science, Prof Shunsuke Chiba, who expressed that "after careful consideration, [all parties] believe a written response is the most appropriate way to address this matter" and "[they] consider this matter resolved", without offering any apology for any of the actions concerned. Prof Shunsuke Chiba had a past working relationship with me as a collaborating principal investigator at the Nanyang Biologics-NTU Joint Laboratory where I had a two-year research attachment as an undergraduate, my supervisor being Assoc Prof Li Hoi Yeung of the School of Biological Sciences. I am disappointed but not surprised that Prof Chiba responded in a non-empathetic way to my concerns and refusing to take this matter further, given that I had a bad history within the joint laboratory. This bad history was initiated by an ex-staff Mr Chua Yong Kang (also an alumni of the School of Biological Sciences) who discriminated against me and treated me with extreme hostility even to the point of almost raising his hand on me in the laboratory if not for other team members' stopping in time. Due to his bad behaviour, the laboratory team members, especially the management personnel including facility manager Dr Lai Soak Kuan and principal investigator Assoc Prof Li Hoi Yeung himself, seemed to unanimously align narratives about me in a way that justifies his actions. Dr Lai Soak Kuan worked very closely with Prof Chiba in the joint laboratory, and it is not known whether Dr Lai Soak Kuan has influenced Prof Chiba directly or indirectly but given contextual cues it is highly probable. Outside of the joint laboratory, there has also been much negative feedback circulating about my interactions with other students, staff, and faculty of the School of Biological Sciences which contributed to the overall bad blood resulting in hostile responses from the school's management of my situation. For instance, Ms Hua Wen Hui, alongside Assoc Prof Melissa Fullwood, has evidently dismissed my concerns when I attempted to raise another concern about a student in the context of an outreach event in 2022 and refused to work out a resolution. In many other cases, my regular point of contact at the School of Biological Sciences general office Mr Eugene Lee Hong Yee, has been providing me with vague and sometimes hostile answers in situations when I needed absolute clarity of matters including the school management's preferences in engaging with me in complex circumstances. He has also evidently rolled his eyes at me on the day of the Open House 2026. I believe that all members of the public ought to see to the way the School of Biological Sciences and the College of Science at the Nanyang Technological University has responded to my concerns about a student's unprofessional behaviour, and that my elaboration of relevant details could help the public to see how they have come to discriminate against me in favour of an esteemed student. EDIT: I discovered that the school apparently tried to cover their backside. Right after my confrontation about the student being featured on the social media platforms, the school apparently immediately deleted the post. The school has also pressured several people to turn hostile against me, including blocking me on communication platforms. One career coach from the NTU Career & Attachment Office, Mr Stephen Koh, has blocked me on Telegram and wiped out all traces of my past communications with him right after the situation. Several peers also cut off all engagement with me entirely.

What can be analyzed here is the psychology behind Mia’s behaviour. From what you’ve described, her reaction strongly suggests emotional attachment that goes beyond a typical friendship. Two things stand out: 1. She talks to you every day about her boyfriend, which often means you’re her emotional outlet, almost like a secondary partner in terms of attention and validation. 2. When she thought you had a girlfriend, she didn’t react with curiosity or happiness. Instead, she reacted with sadness and avoidance. Such behaviour usually points to unspoken feelings or internal conflict. She may have developed feelings for you, but choosing to avoid confronting them directly or openly, probably the wisest choice for all considering that she already has a bf. And that you having a rumored gf kind of further reinforced her decision to let go of you, considering she might not want to have to face a difficult scenario in the future where she has to choose between you and her bf. And so it's the best time to let go.. just let it be.