Im 34, I dated a guy briefly (less than a year), and he ghosted me. After that, we had no contact for about 1 and a half year, even though I tried reaching out back then. Then suddenly, he came back. Over the past few years, he’s been unblocking me and reaching out occasionally, maybe a few times a year. Each time, we’d meet for dinner, catch up, and at the end of the night he’d send me home. But during those moments, he would hold my hand or touch me in a way that felt more than just friendly. (Hand on waist or thigh but nothing more) At first, I didn’t think too much about it. I was just confused about his intentions.Only recently, I found out that he has actually been in a relationship for the past 5 years. During one of our recent dinners, he told me he’s planning to propose to his girlfriend when they get the key which is this year. But even after telling me that, he still held my hand that night. I’m honestly very confused. He knows I still have feelings for him. I even asked him directly if he likes me and loves me and he said yes to both. Why would someone do this? What does he actually want? Does he actually have feelings for me?

Growing up, I learned early that some family members can hurt you in ways that leave lasting scars. I have a sibling who has consistently tried to control situations, manipulate narratives, and erase my contributions. While my dad is slowly improving in both mental and physical well-being, she has tried to control his appointments, even telling the doctor he wouldn’t be coming without informing me. She used to handle my late mom’s appointments, while I managed dad’s, and we were comfortable with that arrangement — but now it feels like she doesn’t want him to get better because I am the one taking care of him. She has even claimed responsibility for things I’ve contributed to — like our parents’ bills and expenses — making it seem like I’m not doing my part. At one point, my own helper had to explain to my dad that I was also contributing, because he genuinely thought my sister was bearing the full cost. Only I — and God — truly know the reality. We are both married and living our own lives. I have children and my own household responsibilities to manage, while she has not been blessed with children yet. Our life situations are different, but it often feels like that difference is not respected when it comes to expectations and responsibilities. We are only two siblings — she is the older one, and I am the youngest. But for most of my life, it has felt like I had to be the “older” one instead. I had to cover for her mistakes, apologize to relatives for actions she took, and carry responsibilities far beyond my age. I was still a child, yet I had to act like the adult while she faced little accountability. There were also moments where narratives were shaped without my voice being heard. It felt like people formed their own conclusions based on one side, leaving me misunderstood and quietly pushed aside. When it comes to money, she becomes a completely different person. She has drained me emotionally over her own financial problems to the point I doubted myself, thinking I owed her. Her husband, a foreigner with a child, doesn’t work and relies entirely on her, adding more pressure to her behavior. Even small things become uncomfortable. Simple, everyday situations can turn into something calculative — especially when it comes to food or shared spaces — to the point you start feeling like you need permission for the smallest things, even in your own parent’s home. For years I tolerated her manipulation and attempts to control family affairs. But I’ve reached my limit. I’ve realised I don’t have to keep being the “older” one for her anymore. I’ve had to put a stop to it, protect my peace, and set boundaries. For anyone else with a narcissistic sibling or family member who manipulates, refuses accountability, or tries to erase your contributions, how do you cope? How do you protect your mental well-being while maintaining family ties?

I’ve been noticing something lately, and I’m trying to make sense of it. Some new graduates—junior employees—seem to be quite selective about what they take on at work. Instead of saying yes to opportunities that might stretch them or help them learn more about how the organisation actually works, they seem to stick closely to a narrow scope. What I don’t quite understand is why. Early in your career is one of the best times to learn as much as you can—how different systems connect, how decisions are made, and how things really run behind the scenes. That kind of understanding doesn’t just come from doing your assigned tasks; it comes from being curious, asking questions, and getting involved. If you don’t build that broader picture, you end up relying a lot on what others tell you. And while that might work in the short term, it can make it harder to think independently or make confident decisions later on—especially if you move into leadership roles. I guess what concerns me is that some of these opportunities to learn won’t always be there. People with deep knowledge eventually move on or retire, and when they do, a lot of that experience goes with them. If you haven’t taken the time to learn from them, it’s not something you can easily get back later. It just feels like a bit of a missed chance. Being open to learning and taking on more early on can really shape how capable and confident you become down the road. I’m genuinely curious—what’s behind this mindset? Are there things I’m not seeing from their perspective?

You walk into a vintage bakery. The shelves are simple, almost intentionally so. No clutter, no distractions. At the center display, you found two almost identical-looking chocolates. Both are labeled: 50% dark chocolate. Same percentage. Same size. Same price. And yet… they don’t feel the same. You pick up the first one. The wrapper is bold — clean lines, sharp colors. There’s something confident about it, like it already knows it’s going to be chosen. When you hold it, it feels solid, straightforward, unmistakable, almost daring you to question it. No hesitation in its design. “You know what you’re getting. Why overthink it?” You can almost imagine the taste of the chocolate already... The kind of chocolate that announces itself the second it touches your tongue, strong bold flavor which excites your taste buds in a good way, albeit being a little intense. - Then you reach for the second one. At first glance, it looks simpler. Softer tones, less obvious. But when you hold it a little longer, you notice details you didn’t see before... the texture of the wrapper, the way the light diffuse from it differently. It doesn’t demand your attention. It keeps it, almost like it's saying... “Take your time. You’ll understand it when you’re ready.” You kind of feel that this one melts slower, and sort of understands you better with it gently giving out subtle notes you might not even notice, unless you’re paying attention. - So you stood there longer than you expected. Because now the problem isn’t chocolate obviously... It’s the feeling behind the choice... You tell yourself: They’re both 50% dark chocolate. It shouldn’t matter. But, it does. Because you know: The first one will satisfy immediately, whereas the second one might stay with you longer. And then you glance back and forth between them, and for a moment, you wonder: Can I just have both? But there’s a small sign on the shelf: “Limit: One per customer”, meaning that you can only choose one out of the two chocolates. How are you supposed to decide then?