Recent posts

  • Any one experienced with losing money in a crash?
    #4544advice· 17h ago

    Hi people, my fellow Singaporean, I’m a poor dude, been poor since very young. Recently crashed all my life saving + licensed money lender loan in Luna crash. Around 50k debt, what should I do? I’m so tired and loss, been crying everyday since awake. Felt life is so meaningless, any experienced people able to share some highlight on this?

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  • I am married for a few years now...
    #4543funny· 17h ago

    My wife doesn't remember my IC, phone number, barely remembers my birth date, doesn't even know when we got married and our anniversary date... How long should I ask her to sleep on the sofa?

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  • Single for a while but started to fall for an older colleague
    #4542advice· 17h ago

    hey, I am a 22M (not from SG but I'm working here now) and wanted to get your advice on something. so I've been through some really bad and toxic relationships and have chosen not to date for the past few years because of that. however, there has been this colleague (26F) that I have been really attracted to, and recently I moved to the same department as her and we got a lot closer. I'm really attracted to this girl and she is everything that I've been looking for, kind, smart, mature, funny, confident, I just can't really find a flaw. we also share a lot of the same values, but I see two massive red flags, the first being our age difference. I feel like I am too young for her and she would feel like she is dating a child if she got with me. And second, I realise that I have somewhat put her on a pedestal and I foresee that this might cause some toxicity in me to arise if we were to date. for these reasons I chose not to pursue her even though she is literally my ideal type of partner. at the same time, I started using dating apps a few months ago, and I met this other girl, who is still a student (22F). i felt somewhat attracted to her, and we went on a few dates. I was deciding whether to get into a relationship with her, because it's been a long time since I've met someone I feel like I could actually get into a relationship with (other than my colleague), and I didn't want to miss this opportunity just because of my colleague, which I didn't think would progress anyway. so after around 1 month, the 22F girl sort of put pressure on me to get into a relationship, and I ended up asking her to be my gf in the heat of the moment. immediately though, I felt like I didn't put enough thought into it and kind of regretted it, so I explicitly said "let's test things out and end things if they don't work". the above happened 2/3 weeks ago, and the more I think about it the more I think I have made a mistake. My gf and my background is quite different, and the differences in our values are starting to show. At the same time, I am getting closer with my colleague and I feel extremely guilty for wasting my gfs time. but I also don't want my gf to think I was just playing with her and that's why I want to give this relationship a shot before ending it. It's just been 2/3 weeks and I don't want wanna be that guy you know. I think I already know what I should do, but I feel like an asshole no matter what I do. just wanted to open up here and let you guys rip me a new one to give me some confidence to do the right thing. Thanks

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  • Sexually assaulted at 14 - my trauma and triggers
    #4541rant· 17h ago

    Thank you to those who commented words of encouragement in my previous post… I read each of your comment almost 10 times to help me get through the day. I really appreciate every comment and support. There was one hurtful comment about me being old and should be thankful that I got sexually assaulted at 14 and that really hurt me :( I have not told any one of my sexual assault before, not even the Counsellors/psychiatrist/psychologist. I guess it is such a deep wound and scar that I find it hard to even use words to talk to anyone? Growing up, they probably thought I was an attention seeker because I resort to cutting myself or attempting suicide. One of my greatest triggers for suicide/being frozen is when someone says “I love you”. I remember the moment after I got assaulted, I asked him why did he do this to me. He replied, “because I love you”. Recently, someone I know for a few years held my hands. I asked why did he held my hands and he said “because I love you”. I froze. Although I’m aware of my triggers and trauma, I don’t know how to deal with my “frozen” response. in the previous post, someone commented why I didn’t tell my parents or an adult after my assault. I was afraid of getting scolded or kick out of the house. I always ask myself why I was so dumb, naive and trusting. The first assault happened after work… he said he wanted to send me home as it was getting late. Before I could get home, he asked if we could sit at the park to chat. I felt guilty to have him send me home as it was a distance from the workplace, so I agreed, but because I was working a 12 hour shift I ended up falling asleep while listening to him talk. Then I woke up with a great deal of discomfort. So I asked him why is he doing this and he said he loves me and wants me to be his girlfriend. I did not agree.tried to live life normally. However a few weeks or months later, he said there was some surprise for me to celebrate something. I stupidly follow him to a quiet spot in a busy shopping mall and the worst thing happened. Why am I so dumb and stupid. I kept all these memories away and suppressed it. I try not to think of it. But because of the words “because I love you”, I feel like nightmares are starting to come back again. - cries -

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  • A helpless woman
    #4540advice· 17h ago

    Not sure how my life will be in future but I really hate myself to have fall for the wrong human!! I have been with ex for 2 decade and married for 18 years ! Our marriage was ok, peaceful and loving as seem by others. On his off day, I would take leave once awhile for a quick lunch , movie and etc with him till 3 years ago!! One day, feeling that he have changed I then check on his phone , saw his married boss sent him this message 我真的很心疼你,we wouldn’t have started at 1st!! I question and confronted him , he say they are nothing . But for a married woman to send this message to a married man what does it really mean ? This sentence stays with me till now. Since then , he start to lock his hp with password , take down the whatapps profile picture of the kids and even his Home Screen on his hp all the family pic was removed. With the frequent quarrel and argument I fall into depression and it took me a long while to walk out of it in 2020! 2021 was a hell year, he started to use violent on me, pull me, drag me and slap me, throw things spoilt a lot of things at home but because of the kids I choose to stay on but gotten myself prepare for the worst checking with law firm on the divorce proceedings but didn’t have the courage to do so. But when I received the letter from him I feel so miserable. Why would someone do this to break up a family !! Especially is 1 week before we move and 2 weeks before cny !! I have to act as if nothing happen and that I have to carry on my smile and walk through these. April I was diagnose with some sickness and he didn’t bother to help and do anything for the family he still Spend his time outside all day long and yet fighting the kids care and control with me. Even on the clauses that we agree on , he is at his most advantage, he doesn’t not want to spilt his asset and I didn’t fight over it and now he keep threatening to open up the case to court , what should I do!! On the draft consent order that we have submitted, it have been moved to interim judgement and soon to final judgement 3 mths later , can he really withdraw and do what that he is keen ?

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  • Dad ask me to be his guarantor for his BMW car
    #4539advice· 17h ago

    I am in my early 30s and still living with my parent's house. I am aiming to move out in 2 years time with my partner, which is why I am trying to hold back on renting to save more on renovation fees. Right now, my dad want to upgrade to a BMW and is trying to ask me to be his guarantor. There is some trust issues which happened in the past, which has raised up my mistrust level to him. My mum is now currently on a mission to force me to sign it. What would you do if you are in my position?

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