Recent posts

  • Early marriage in Singapore?
    #11767funnyrant· 35d ago

    repost of wat i saw on reddit lol "Before any of you shitting on me, I have to emphasize that I knew I screwed up big time and already want to box myself in the face. Still a poly student, currently serving internship. I met this one malaysian chinese girl same age as me, but was one of the many workers in the manufacturing side. i was in the IT department, and yes I admit I found her extremely attractive so I became friends with her despite knowing she has a bf ar that time It started with some teasing, which I got abit overboard and started flirting. Eventually she also caught feelings and broke it off with her boyfriend, which made me felt somewhat distanced as I felt she could do the same to me. (As I'm more good looking, higher education, more financially well-off individually and family wise than her ex)This "office drama" eventually got big and my manager as well as the chairman knew of it. Instead of reprimanding me, they advised me to handle it responsibly and not be so 任性. So I broke the situationship off with her and began to focus fully on my work. However, due to much stress knowing my mother getting cancer and overwhelming expectations I have for myself, I got increasingly more irritable and anger-prone these months where I did not think nor process many of my actions of what consequences they may have. With my mom getting ovarian cancer stage 4 stressing me out, and the girl in my workplace being there for me, eventually we continued talking and stated we should stay as friends. Or so we thought. 2 weeks ago, she needed help in getting some RFID reader down from the cabinet placed above which I glady helped. We found our eyes locking with each other, and she initiated the first kiss. Afterwards she began to pull me out of the FAB and close to the toilet (a secluded area where our company does not own, shared building), I got carried away and did not think much. Ended up smashing without protection in one of the toilet cabin. I got so guilty afterwards where I repeatedly apologize to her the next few days, which she assured was fine as it was mutual and that it was a mistake on both our part. Fastforward to today, she told me that she missed her period and took a pregnancy test kit. Turns out she was pregnant. I still have two more weeks towards the end of the internship, and will be graduating in May. I know I have to take responsibility, but I have NS coming up this year as well which I do not know the dates yet, and furthermore I am not sure if I have the financial capability to do so. Despite my family being financially above average, they are worried about my mother's condition and will be furious if they knew about my mistake. My friends all said she babytrapped me, and right now IDK if my savings of 15K will be enough to help us over the tide. To those who have shotgun marriage or early marriage in SG, please share your experiences and what I should do in this period of time.... Feeling super stressed out. Im not sure of BTO process, ROM, if she's okay without a ceremony etc.... Emotionally wise I'm even more fucked but Idk what to feel at this rate"

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  • Advice needed: disappearing friends
    #11766advice· 35d ago

    Tldr: I often get replaced by my friends and struggle to make long lasting friendships. I struggle a lot with maintain friendships and one thing I realized is that a lot of friendships I made always seems fun at first but as time progresses, they found other friends and stop inviting me Even when I try to invite them out, they would agree at first and then cancel last minute One instance is when I made a new friend, that friend would often tell me that if I make other friends and not invite him/her they would feel very sad To which I’ll assure them not to worry and I’ll always invite them out as I enjoy spending time with them But months afterwards, they would stop inviting me and last minute cancel any meetings I planned with them saying “busy” Which then I found out through social media that they were hanging out with other friends/parties I feel disappointed then as I thought that if this person felt that I would stop inviting them = they feel sad, they would not do the same to me It is very painful and frustrating to constantly feel rejected and being the only one to put in effort in a friendship/relationship I struggle with anxious attachment and I believe that this common reoccurrence is one of the reasons why I still struggle with it My goal this year is to recover from this issue and I think I have to start from this small issue.. however I’m not sure how

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  • Hating my rich life.
    #11741advice· 35d ago

    I grew up poor and my husband grew up with a golden spoon . Currently spending our 5th year anniversary and I'm starting to feel stagnant. As we clearly like different things when we go out. He loves his branded good and I love a good bargain at a discount store. Whenever we go shopping either I'm bored or he is, I try to shop at branded goods but nothing seems to ever appeal to me aside skin care and cosmetic and end up being clueless on what to get and just ask for reccomandations or his opinion. End up I don't want to go anywhere aside staying home as I'll be bored. While on the other hand if I were to go out with my BFF she will tend to just go into a shop see something she likes get the full set in that colour or 2. So my question is how do I learn to love this lifestyle so we have more in common? Tia

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  • Your own kin, mother
    #11700advicerant· 116d ago

    A bit of Backstory about myself. My dad passed away 10 years ago, i grew up quite independent and financially supporting myself with bursaries & part-time job. Don't want to give any burden to my mother who's supporting me and my brother at that time. Even when the time i got married most of the expenses, ROM and Ceremony and furniture i paid myself. My mom only give ang bao money to the in law and some gold chain to my wife (LTVP holder) Bring forward to this day. I 27 yrs old diploma holder married to my PR wife and she's pregnant. Currently I am staying at my mom’s house with my wife 3 of us. While my bro was chased out of the house in late June this year by my mom due to some family issue. In the beginning when my wife moved in, my mom was happy. my wife helped out with the house chores and cook for the family. While 3 of us are staying in the house, I used to pay for house water/electrical bill and her phone line & house Wi-Fi bill before my wife is pregnant. When my wife is pregnant, she stopped working. At this point I am the solo bread winner for my family. I stopped giving water/electrical money but I still help out pay out with her phone bill & House Wi-Fi and other household items. Even tho we still cook for her once in a while and her birthday I will bring her out to eat at restaurant and sometimes I got bonus, I will bring her out eat too. In the first place I never thought about inheriting my mom’s house and her wealth even when my bro was chased out of the house. I applied for BTO, gotten my number and baby is otw and cost of living in Singapore. You guys know too. I stopped giving water/electricity money but I still fork out the rest of it ever since my wife stopped working when she’s pregnant. Since two weeks ago, she told me personally to surrender my insurance plan and take out the money and give it to her instead and said wanna retired soon. I don’t mind surrender my insurance and give you everything. In the beginning not mine anyway but ever since that day her tone and behaviour change. It’s like she’s drawing a line between herself and me/wife. My wife due date is in 2 months++ time. Seeing my own mom wanna draw a line between us. For my own family sake. I have no choice but to move out, for my baby and wife sake. Had no choice but to seek MP for help to apply PPHS. No news from HDB yet, I just hope can move out before my wife give birth. If not, move back to my wife country if government can’t help me. The house and the money my mom can take all of it and retired and I don’t want any part of it not mine in the first place anyway. Dad passed away early, A younger brother who can’t think about what’s good or bad. A mother lack sympathy for her son. And me, a son sorry for not being rich. I just like normal person with normal salary. What a lifeee. Even to me and my wife, what’s children. We give them a life, never once we want something in return when we’re old. I love my wife, my wife love me. That’s our love for our newborn child. Just want them be happy and live their life.

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  • Seeking advice on work decisions.
    #11699advice· 116d ago

    During my time at NUS, I secured a scholarship with a 2-year bond to my current company. As I approach the one-year mark in fulfilling this commitment, I find myself grappling with the decision to terminate the bond, despite the associated penalty fee of approximately $20k. The past year has been marked by challenging days, anxiety, and a realization that the field of work I'm in may not be the right fit for me. Despite the healthy work environment (colleagues are great and friendly), I've struggled to comprehend my tasks, observing others effortlessly grasping concepts that elude me. In addition to my full-time job, which includes occasional overtime, I've embarked on a side hustle—teaching. I use my after-work hours and weekends to teaching, my total work commitment amounts to around 60 hours per week. While tutoring has its challenges, especially when students are uncooperative, I don't regret my decision. Teaching brings me genuine happiness and a profound sense of purpose derived from helping my students. My contemplation to terminate the bond stems from several considerations. Firstly, tutoring lacks the stability of a conventional job, and there are no CPF benefits. Secondly, I worry about potential difficulties securing a full-time position in the future due to a lack of industry experience. I am seeking advice on how to navigate this situation and make a well-informed decision about whether to continue with my current job or pursue a path that aligns more closely with my passion for teaching. As I approach the decision-making point, I acknowledge that in the coming year, I'll still be engaged in my side hustle, and I'm concerned about my ability to cope. I would like to seek advice on how to navigate this situation and make a well-informed decision about whether to continue with my current job.

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  • People are not that forgiving... So don't try try
    #11658rant· 116d ago

    I just learnt things the hard way. As a super introvert who choose to do delivery jobs due to social anxiety and depression. I forced myself to join a tour group with my best friend with a small tour of 20+ people. It's a short one to Thailand. "Forced" is probably a bad choice of words btw, it's more like I am convinced to challenge myself. I am not someone who is good with social ques and often appears selfish because I can only take care of myself. Somehow, I managed to make more than 3 person in the tour group dislike me. One of them make it so obvious that when I smile and greet her "morning" (since its what everyone does), she just turn away. But when my bestie greeted her, she is ok. The rest still bother to greet back but I could tell it's out of courtesy. Don't ask me what I did, I don't remember doing anything bad intentionally to them. I don't even chat much with them, I am just with my friend when she chatted with them. I join in the conversation once in awhile only. I asked my friend if I did anything wrong to these 3-4 people (they're from different groups, they're not a clique of friends/family) but she couldn't really recall any incident... She say maybe is my body language... But we both couldn't figure out ... I know I can hack care them because after the trip, we'll probably not see each other anymore. But I can't help but think if people are so easily offended to the point they need to show it then it's really hard for me to get myself into social situations. I don't understand social ques and I eill just continue to make enemies on the way while I improve my skill. Just how many enemies do I want to make?

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