• Everything also baby
    #9341rant· 1d ago

    I'm seriously so tired of people who constantly use their baby as an excuse during work. Now before anyone comes after me and say "I'm not understanding" or "you wait until you become a parent", having a baby was YOUR choice and not having a baby is also MY choice. I don't see why I have to be penalised for your choice or why I have to be more "considerate" of you because of a choice YOU made. Having and not having a baby comes with both pros and cons, and just because I don't have a baby, doesn't mean I need to absorb the cons of someone who has one. At work I let parents take the school holidays off as I know parents are busy prepping kids back for School or that is the only time they can go overseas with their children. Our office operationally cannot close during last week of the year either. That is the compromise I am willing to make as I know how stressful it is to prep kids back to school and yes, I feel that it is quite generous as if given the option, I would like to take the last week off to unwind. I can tolerate up to the point where a child falls sick and needs their parent to care for them because everyone falls sicks and it's also not a weekly occurrence. The one thing I cannot stand, is when people end up using their babies as excuse to "evade" work or under the guise of staying home or even get people to do things for them. Then they proceed to ask other people to wipe up their backside and do things for them because they have a "baby". I consider baby and children a part of personal life, and it if it affects your competency to do work, then maybe you're a lousy worker. Lord can't wait to leave this shitty company after I get my bonus for the FY *rolls eyes*

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  • Idk how to love someone and have self-love
    #9339rant· 1d ago

    I tried as much as possible to learn how to love, but I switch between drawing someone close and then pushing them away. It's really hard, I don't know how to overcome it. In the end I end up getting ignored. I don't know how to express my fears, insecurities about the future properly.. I have a lot of "what-ifs" Growing up, I never experienced a stable, secure love. I have come to know guys who are really sweet at the start, but they can change really fast or leave me broken when they get what they want. It hurts a lot to be ignored or neglected. As a result I think of all the worst scenarios so that when it happens, I can tell myself that I alr expected this to happen and hurt less. Any advice on how to change such a train of thought? What do u usually think when u get started on a new relationship? What do u usually think when ur existing partner show less interest in you?

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  • Survey: how many couples go dutch?
    #9337advice· 1d ago

    I would like to know how most couples work on splitting the bill? I knew my bf around two years ago. When we first started to date, he mentioned nowadays couples go dutch. I think it's reasonable since we just got together althought I heard from some friends that go dutch is not always true, some bf will just pay. Anyway, we started go dutch and things were fine along. Our relationship is going stable and he started to plan about our future. At the same time, we still go dutch and occasionally would pay for each other. But I don't see a mutual future with him by going dutch in the long run. I feel like I am with a long term roommate/friend that going dutch forever. I don't feel secured. I also don't know how to start this topic with him. Today, another guy friend told me go dutch is not usual. I know different couples got different ways. But it's slowly affects me how I see our relationship in the future. Would like to seek for advice or opinion on how you guys think about go dutch for dating and married couples?

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  • How much allowance is reasonable to give a father who has not financially contributed to the family?
    #9330advice· 1d ago

    Hello, I was hoping to get some advice in regards to a situation. Admin please consider publishing this! I have been married for 5-6 years, and we have no major issues in our marriage. We are both in our early thirties and we work in a field where most people would think pays a lot. In reality, I would say that we are just middle income earners. For some context, we are Singaporeans, but have been living and working overseas for many years now. We have a house and no children yet. I think financially we were doing alright. However, last year, my husband quit his job due to burnout and worked on a casual basis. This meant that our finances did suffer a bit of a hit. As I was getting a stable income and approaching a guaranteed "promotion" soon, I gave him my blessings. I still contributed religiously to our mortgage income without asking him to, and paid for most of the household expenses. However, I found out that my husband was still giving a lump sum of money to his father during his (my husband's) year of unemployment. For background, my mother-in-law was the sole breadwinner for many years. My husband's version of story was that his mother wanted his father to work for her. But I think the truth is that my father-in-law got retrenched and couldn't/wouldn't find another job. My MIL probably asked him to work for her as she didn't want him to stay at home and do nothing (fair enough). But sadly, my in laws divorced a few years back. My MIL kept everything, which made sense since she was the one paying for everything for everything. Since then, my FIL has been sorta destitute and had to move back to his family's home and work in rideshare etc. Upon finding out that my husband was still giving his father a lump sum of money on a monthly basis while he was unemployed and relying on me to pay most of our big bills, I couldn't help but feel a little bit resentful and irritated. Honestly, our field of work is highly stressful (hence my husband suffered burnout) and I felt that it wasn't fair to me. I brought it up with my husband and fights ensued. He then agreed to reduce the amount. On one hand, I feel a bit guilty because FIL is elderly and has limited means to support himself. Also, I have decent income so technically I SHOULD help out, even if indirectly. But on the other hand, he has no biological ties to me. Additionally, I have no idea where went wrong with FIL career-wise, because FIL seemed to have a good education (he went overseas to study at university, which at his time was a big deal). I feel that he has no one to blame for his position but himself. Of course, I rather my husband keeps his money for us, as we are thinking of starting a family soon. My question is - how much is a reasonable amount to give an elderly person to survive in Singapore if we were to just give out of obligation (on a monthly basis)?

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  • Why are you so bad? 😭
    #9326advicefunnyrant· 1d ago

    My coworker keeps flirting on me. He gave me insane amount of attention with excessive praises like "I like your shirt!", "you are so handsome!", "you are very cute!", "I love you!". Once on the bus, we were interlocking our arms for a good 10 minutes! Another occassion after we had a meal and he suddenly interlock my arm again while walking to the mall. We also often hug each other for fun and jokes. When we message, he will send me kisses and loves most of the time. When I actually asked if he would like to date me, he calls me bro 😂😭🤣 Aiyooo, why you so confusing eh? Why you so bad ah keep lead me on but I really really like you thou! P.S. I m a guy too ☻️

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  • Life coach?
    #9325rant· 1d ago

    Mental health wellness is a thing now I know but the number of people who try to rebrand themselves as life coach is ridiculous. This is excluding professionals who spent years getting their degree, masters, PhD, clocking in clinical hours in psychology, being a certified professional psychologist, psychiatrist. Many of these life coach have troubled childhood themselves, goes on to brand themselves as empath, and probably couldn’t adapt so well into their original career choices. Quick check on LinkedIn and you will find their write up being so wonderful, they give thanks to community, celebrate all small accomplishments and interactions. I will say their are in the business of being an influencer rather than life coach. I know of a life coach who brand herself as worked through “mind body connection” when she was a sugar baby and she “forms close relationships with top management personnel” means she slept with all her bosses in her midst for career change. I am really concerned when these life coaches are hired by MOE for school programs. They sell their service as coaching you, your kids, couples into knowing and finding yourself, building confidence and relationship. There’s no third party listening in the sessions, god knows how they could have subtly instil their personal values into our kids! Have MOE done a good background check on their third party vendors? Ah, I forget, even MOE teachers these days may not have good moral values! Parents, please be more involved in your kids growing up and don’t be afraid to have difficult conversations. Or even better, go pick up skills to be life coaches as well and be the life coach for your kids!

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