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#12422: I understood your frustration as I have been through similar predicament
#12422· 7h ago

In some families, even today, daughters are expected to take on a lot of responsibility, to give way to their brothers, and to constantly do more for the family. There can be an unspoken mindset that the boys (sometimes even if they are already in their 30s or 50s) need to be supported no matter what (even if it comes at the sisters’ expense) because their success is seen as especially important. You can say it is due to favouritism, or the parents simply are still having an outdated mindset. For example, I knew of an ex-colleague who had to share her scholarship allowance with her younger sibling (I could see it was quite unfair for her but given her family's financial situation at that time she was persuaded by her mum to do it as she told me). I am not sure whether she has "recoup" her investment but that’s an incredibly heavy expectation for anyone to carry, and it can slowly create hurt, resentment, and distance within the family. She used to be a happy person but there was once she broke down in front of me due to stress. I know the frustration that she had to experience this and I hope parents be fair to all their kids regardless of their gender. The unspoken belief that the male kids must be supported at all costs (even at the expense of their sisters) in order to ensure their success in society should not exist in today's world. In many families, it’s not unusual for one child to be treated more favorably than another. Sometimes it’s subtle, and sometimes it is very obvious due to weird family expectations. The first thing I want you to remember is that your frustration probably has very little, if anything, to do with who you are as a person. I hope you find mia and that she feels better now.

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