I am in a rather tricky situation, and would appreciate useful advice I have just started work (3 months ago) at this Company. During the interview, I told my interviewer (who is the head of my department), that I am taking a part-time course, lessons are twice a week after work hours. My office is located at a far end of the island, and it takes about two hours to travel to this IHL. During the first semester, he did not have any problems in letting me go off slightly earlier so as to be on time for class. However, during this current semester, when I emailed to inform him, he replied with a question how I plan to compensate the company back for my earlier release, which totalled, only 2.5 hours / week. Abit of a background, my current company is the extremely stingy-type. Not only do they not spend any money on staff training, they do not even provide us with a laptop to work at the construction site. While at site, often, we need a laptop to be able to sync with the server. My head of department, who is disrespectful, dismissive, condescending, and antagonistic, said we need to write in with justifications as to why we need a laptop as already, the company provides a desktop for each of us. The only person who has a laptop in our department is the head of the department, and he is the one who does not need a laptop as he does not travel out to site. So, two of my colleagues spoilt the market by using their own laptop for work, instead of writing in to justify for a laptop (I suppose it is because they know the likely outcome). By using their own laptops for work at site, they run the risk of damage or loss through theft. A construction site is a very dusty environment, which can affect a laptop very negatively. As it is, I am paying out of my own pocket for my night classes, which is related to my work nature. I do not plan to stay on long in this type of company which has little prospects, and with this type of boss. The thing I wish to ask for your advice, is how to deal with the compensation for earlier release.

I always know about guys who prefer to go for girl-based activities and sports, and vice-versa for girls to do the same but boys’ dominated sport/activities However, recently I have seen stereotypes that guys who dance are suffering from feminine-ranged insults and ridicule (example: get called as gay when they are not even one). Especially when I see boys who are young who are involved in the realm of ballet, i think those who have sisters even unsure of their ability. I’m genuinely wondering: would it be a safe refuge for a guy from NUS who wish and interested to learn ballet (despite of origin of country), and would not get ridiculed for doing the same for involved in femininely-based dance like ballet? This is food for thought, because I believe NUS is diverse in interests and backgrounds. So i wondered what would the community would react in this regard. Girls who are involved currently and/or used to be in the dance scene especially ballet are more than welcome to answer if they wish. Because if there were to be a ballet studio in SG that offers boys class despite of age range, would you think the studios support boys? Or you would yourself ridicule the boys instead, and co-bully them as well?????

Working at NUS for 7years plus. New parent. Maternity/paternity leaves ended and it has been a struggle to manage work and baby. Both my spouse and myself do try to help each other, but even then its tough. My spouse company is more flexible, gets to WFH about 2-3days per week depending on schedule. While for me, it is very rigid, 4days per week have to be in office. I cant be relying on spouse to fetch/send baby to infant care or to take care the whole day as spouse needs to work as well. Even with infant care (still on waiting list) and all that, it is immensely tiring and how do i find time for myself? I see many other friends who work elsewhere have many flexi work arrangements. Some WFH 5days a week and earn way more than me. Simple solution here is to quit and go elsewhere. But why should i? I have been here for long and I have consistently performed well and i dont want to restart all over again going another place. Why cant Singapore or some companies embrace a more flexible, open-minded approach in an already very stressed world? All i need is my laptop and i can work from anywhere i am. And oh, the govt says have more kids. Yes, no choice thats the answer to my rant.

Please tell me what I am mixed with what i want to know. Have been feeling rather immense emotion distress at the end of pregnancy because will be facing the jeopardy risk between upsetting the in-laws and feeling comfortable living under own maternal care until collection of BTO keys to move into own house Feeling 100% rest assured with own mum to help me with my confinement and my newborn care but still feel pressure with the husband parent who has made their stand that straight to move out from own mum house right after confinement period (in my case 2 months later) Rational of married daughter should stay with the husband family but to be frank at this stage not feeling any comfortable with staying the in laws even though there is no significant conflict yet and there’s definitely drastic family dynamics and cultures and upbringings between two families. Got to admit that maybe I’ve taken lightly when it comes to just prior to dating and once married with a kid and living with the in law family there’s bound to have many adjustments to adapt to. Maybe I could share it here in the platform in the hope of lightening my concerns before going for delivery soon and the transition of returning to work after maternity leave . Things maybe I’m not feeling assured is the in law family dont really cook and I am brought up in a environment where home cooked food is so essential in daily life and especially with a kid coming along , eating out often is not something I would want. The in law family is also retired with certain health conditions so as a daughter in law certainly when it comes to eating expenses and other common expenses will need to think throughly. With the fact that sometimes will feel rather not so lively living with the husband as the only son in the family where can see once dinner settled everyone will cooped in their room while my own family will stay at the living room and have small chat with one another. With also the father in law the only one doing the household chores only once a week is also an aspect I will need of way to adapt to. Although all this has never been really brought up directly to the husband as the husband currently don’t see as issues. It could have been seen selfish choice that even my own maternal parent would think that I just want my own kid to stay at my maternal place because of course comparing in terms of better living quality arrangements there’s no hesitation to have my kid to stay at maternal place with also my other siblings to oversee their nephew. Relentlessly my compassion parent also have dropped hints to my husband should at least stay in with his own parent on certain days as well as dutiful son duty which I also perfectly fine living separately sometimes just because I’m not ready to face drastic living arrangement Because my in law parent has also been giving in to my husband certain things they rather not nag extensively ( which now I feel is a also a problematic stuck between their family) With curfews and excessively smoking all this has been cut down and also been obliged to keep fit by doing light exercises with just only living for less than a month in my maternal parent house his current living lifestyle is something I’m quite proud in secret. Hopefully as times goes will see how I can feel more confident and comfortable in facing the in law parent situation without feeling overwhelmed just because the in law parent is excited to upbring their grandson while feeling a little disturbed that his parent is foster parent which something that the in law has never shared with me until my husband opened up with me. Of course regardless of the fact , I will always respect them as elders and with no doubt my own maternal mum has also advised me to look at things at brighter side and especially as a mum to be need to learn to face new change with opening hearts.

Idk if I’m petty but I don’t feel good about this. Basically, my gf has never gotten anything above $200 for me as a gift before while I am generous with gifts. We go on Dutch for most occasions and I would treat meals here and there regularly. She tells me that she needs to save money as she don’t want to rely on her parents for money BUT can spend over $200 on concerts to see her idol. Am I the asshole

I have toxic family members, it is not my own family but my husband family. 1) They make cruelly critical remarks. Especially the granny in law. She never like me as a granddaughter in law. Whenever I go out with my husband , she will calculate the time we went out and the time we back home ..she will make remarks like it is already 5 hours already who so long. Because she is wheelchair bound , and she dote my husband so much she will ask her to get food for her . She will said why 1.5 hour not yet back , she is hungry to die already. she do not have to fix to her own timing for food , so we have to our whole world revolving around her. She do not accept that the fact we need to wait for bus need to queue for food and wait for the food to be cook, she said should be done within 1 hours. She do not let me go back to my parent place..she felt that going back once a month is enough of going there every week. She said behind my sil back , as she is a vietnamese..her mum kena stroke and she have to went back to see her mother. She said why she go back , not like her mother as her only daughter. This blow my mind away when she said that. I was thinking how could she said that. I think she felt that her leaving to other countries mean her son will be staying at our house and she need to look after him which the nephew is 9 year old this year. Not only that she will judge what we eat and keep staring at people be it me , my sil ,the nephew and my mil. She will keep looking at us what we eat and comment say that we eat luxury food, she eat food like $4 and yet we order a $7/$8. She felt that we should be like her. Eat lesser and saving all the money..she always said I earn more money I should contribute more to the house and my husband should stop working..I can feed him and he can do housework for me all that, but I felt it was her wanting people to serve her. She also said that me and my husband shouldn't get married , cos my husband is so poor that my husband have to lend money for the dowry and 4 piece of gold which I return back to her yet she said money is already spend no point. She said my parent are money sucker. Asking $3xxx and 4 piece of gold. She said her daughter generation don't even have 4 piece of gold. 2) They give you the silent treatment, they lie and keep denying The bil is a huge gambler , he always asking the family member for money to repay the loan shark money yet he is not working a full time job. He work as a Grab driver cos he said he can't have monthly pay he need those weekly pay to repay the loan shark. He keep threaten to go die if we didn't lend him , till date he have ask me for 10k plus. Even before me and the husband just started dating. And he didn't return me the $8XX after lending around $2xxx since 2019. He said he need money cos he have to pay rent for his car and he no money to survive. Now I come and think of it I am stupid to start lending money. He keep asking me to sign installment plan and Grab pay so that he can sell away the items to get money, he said this is not my money just using my cc to have all this ,it is the bank money not my money . Even my mil also lend money to help this son of hers. Tbh I felt that she dote the bil more than my husband. The treatment is different. And my husband because of him , borrow loan from bank and he said he will pay himself every month end up not paying result in interest of total $7xxx , he have to clear off the debt till date he didn't pay a single cent back to him. The mil said my husband is stupid who pay the $7xxx , he should have called the bank and just ignore it..if he is the favourite kid,she won't even said that. He have also ask money for the granny around $8x xxx, till date he only return some and always ask again back the return money cos he said you also don't spudge and you always eat food that all didn't spend so much. If don't lend he will said he will jump down the building so he have no choice but to lend. And he can't even provide us the iou or the receipt for the loan shark.